Has your staircase ever been in the way of your next project? Ever want to throw your kids down in the basement and make it so they can’t get up again? (joking — please don’t call social services…). I have just the solution: a portable staircase. A staircase that can slide in and out of place.

Wanting your own portable staircase? It only takes a few easy steps to have this showstopper.

Step 1: Add a bit more support to areas you think the staircase might be helping support/stabilize.

Step 2: Add some supports to the actual staircase itself. While you are at it, add some “skis” to the bottom of the supports to allow it to slide easier.

Step 3: Disconnect stairs from landing (reciprocating saw = your new friend).

Step 4: Prop up the lower landing with some wood shims (whatever you can find in the junk pile) and attach some more “skis.” You are now finished. You have a portable staircase:

Step 5 (optional): Work up the courage to look at the various creatures that have inhabited this perfect hiding place

You’re lucky this isn’t high enough resolution to see all the dead millipedes…